Say 'No' to Say 'Yes'

“Sure, I can do that.”

“No problem; I’ll get on it right away.”

“I can fit that into my schedule.”

“I don’t mind at all.”

“Yes.”

Do these phrases sound familiar? Have you heard them coming out of your mouth? If so, it may be time to reassess how many times you say ‘yes’ when you should have said ‘no.’

Today, I was listening to an interview with Michael Hyatt, author of the best-selling book Platform: Get Noticed in a Busy World. Michael is the Chairman of Thomas Nelson Publishers and a leadership expert. He talked briefly about how getting in touch with your bigger ‘yes’ can keep you on track so you’ll know when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no.’ Like any good leader, Michael is a reader. And he says he had read about this in a book. If you read Michael’s book Platform, you’ll see how he emphasizes not to settle for less than greatness. You and I shouldn’t settle for less than greatness either.

This reminded me of something I’d heard from Craig Valentine, 1999 World Champion of Public Speaking. He told a story to illustrate how saying ‘yes’ to a good opportunity would have gotten in the way of his saying ‘yes’ to fulfilling a dream. In his story, he talked about how the good can get in the way of the best. As a professional speaker and coach, Craig has learned the value of saying ‘yes’ only to the best. If you’re a pro or aspiring speaker, do yourself a favor and follow Craig on Facebook. (And, while you’re at it, follow me too!)

I’ll be honest. Sometimes I’ve said ‘yes’ when I should have said ‘no.’ Why? Mostly, because it seemed like the right answer at the time but I answered too quickly to make an informed decision. Sometimes I’ve said ‘yes’ because it was something I knew I would enjoy. Even then, the timing was wrong for me and I missed real and more valuable opportunities. Is saying ‘yes’ getting in the way of your success?

While we’re being honest with each other, I’ll admit that at times saying ‘yes’ really stressed me out. Maybe I wanted to do something for someone but I really didn’t have the time or energy. And maybe because of that, I should have said ‘no’ so that someone else could have completed the task. It’s a fact that often when we overload ourselves, the quality suffers in our tasks. And isn’t it better to do a task to the best of your ability than to do several tasks of poorer quality? Plus, it’s much more satisfying and self-fulfilling to do what we do, the best we can do. We get such a greater sense of accomplishment. And, since we are selling ourselves everyday in everything we do, shouldn’t we make sure every task measures up?

Next time you think of spontaneously saying ‘yes’ to a project or a request, take a moment to think through it. A good way to do that is to ask yourself the following questions:

• Why am I saying ‘yes’?
• Will saying ‘yes’ serve me well?
• Will saying ‘yes’ propel me closer to my dreams?

So, go ahead. Say ‘yes.’ Just be sure your ‘yes’ doesn’t get in the way of the ‘yes’ that’ll make a positive difference in your life and in the lives of those around you. Make sure your ‘yes’ is the ‘yes’ that matters most. 

Rock on, 

Jean

Have a good story of how saying 'no' freed you up to say 'yes'? I'd love to hear more! Email me.