Say 'No' to Say 'Yes'

“Sure, I can do that.”

“No problem; I’ll get on it right away.”

“I can fit that into my schedule.”

“I don’t mind at all.”

“Yes.”

Do these phrases sound familiar? Have you heard them coming out of your mouth? If so, it may be time to reassess how many times you say ‘yes’ when you should have said ‘no.’

Today, I was listening to an interview with Michael Hyatt, author of the best-selling book Platform: Get Noticed in a Busy World. Michael is the Chairman of Thomas Nelson Publishers and a leadership expert. He talked briefly about how getting in touch with your bigger ‘yes’ can keep you on track so you’ll know when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no.’ Like any good leader, Michael is a reader. And he says he had read about this in a book. If you read Michael’s book Platform, you’ll see how he emphasizes not to settle for less than greatness. You and I shouldn’t settle for less than greatness either.

This reminded me of something I’d heard from Craig Valentine, 1999 World Champion of Public Speaking. He told a story to illustrate how saying ‘yes’ to a good opportunity would have gotten in the way of his saying ‘yes’ to fulfilling a dream. In his story, he talked about how the good can get in the way of the best. As a professional speaker and coach, Craig has learned the value of saying ‘yes’ only to the best. If you’re a pro or aspiring speaker, do yourself a favor and follow Craig on Facebook. (And, while you’re at it, follow me too!)

I’ll be honest. Sometimes I’ve said ‘yes’ when I should have said ‘no.’ Why? Mostly, because it seemed like the right answer at the time but I answered too quickly to make an informed decision. Sometimes I’ve said ‘yes’ because it was something I knew I would enjoy. Even then, the timing was wrong for me and I missed real and more valuable opportunities. Is saying ‘yes’ getting in the way of your success?

While we’re being honest with each other, I’ll admit that at times saying ‘yes’ really stressed me out. Maybe I wanted to do something for someone but I really didn’t have the time or energy. And maybe because of that, I should have said ‘no’ so that someone else could have completed the task. It’s a fact that often when we overload ourselves, the quality suffers in our tasks. And isn’t it better to do a task to the best of your ability than to do several tasks of poorer quality? Plus, it’s much more satisfying and self-fulfilling to do what we do, the best we can do. We get such a greater sense of accomplishment. And, since we are selling ourselves everyday in everything we do, shouldn’t we make sure every task measures up?

Next time you think of spontaneously saying ‘yes’ to a project or a request, take a moment to think through it. A good way to do that is to ask yourself the following questions:

• Why am I saying ‘yes’?
• Will saying ‘yes’ serve me well?
• Will saying ‘yes’ propel me closer to my dreams?

So, go ahead. Say ‘yes.’ Just be sure your ‘yes’ doesn’t get in the way of the ‘yes’ that’ll make a positive difference in your life and in the lives of those around you. Make sure your ‘yes’ is the ‘yes’ that matters most. 

Rock on, 

Jean

Have a good story of how saying 'no' freed you up to say 'yes'? I'd love to hear more! Email me.

Are You In It To Win It?

In 2010, I’ll admit that initially I was a reluctant competitor in the Toastmasters Evaluation contest at the club level. As a club officer, I was determined that we WOULD BE represented. So, I made the statement (and, let me just say, if you make a statement to a group of Toastmasters or any group, you have to be prepared to back it up; I had not thought that far ahead), so I made the statement, “Our club needs to be represented. If you don’t do it, I will!” Silence. Now, I couldn’t quite tell but I think I may have heard a few sighs of relief. After all, entering a speaking contest is not the easiest thing in the world. For those of you who have, kudos to you. Easy or not, it is definitely a good experience and one that will help you to grow by leaps and bounds as a speaker.

And that’s how I became the evaluation contestant for our club. While I had entered other speaking contests, I had never even considered the evaluation contest. No real reason except that I felt there were others much better than me at evaluation. Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever let your perception of yourself hold you back?

Now, in Toastmaster evaluation contests, we compete at the club, area, division and finally the district (or state) level. The competition gets tougher as you advance. This is typical of every contest.

Somehow, in November 2010, I found myself on stage in Wilmington, NC, competing at the district level. Against the best of the best from around the state. By this time, I was no longer that reluctant contestant at the club level. Somehow, winning the area, then the division, had lit a fire inside me. I wanted to do my best, not just for me but for my local Burlington club. I was in it to win it!

Whether you’re competing now or plan to compete at a later date, here are two pieces of advice you should take to heart.

1) Find a mentor or mentors that you can trust to give you valuable feedback. Just because your Uncle Joe thinks you’re the best doesn’t mean he knows enough about the speaking biz to coach you to the win. Find someone who can.

2) Take a look at the judge’s ballot for your contest and make sure you meet the criteria for each section. This can take you far in any contest.

For a short 5-minute video with more valuable tips to winning a speech contest, click here.

Now, are you ready to compete? Are you in it to win it? Go forth and enjoy the ride.

Rock on,

Jean

Rock Your Evaluation! (Part 2)

Rock It!

When evaluating a speaker, look for advanced speaking techniques. Did the speaker use pauses effectively? Or would his speech have been more powerful if he had incorporated the use of pauses? Did his pauses seem rehearsed and stilted? Or did the few seconds of silence in his speech drive home his points?

An effective way to use a pause is just before you make an important point or just after you’ve made a point. Also, if you’re telling a story, pauses can add emphasis and make the listener’s ears perk up, anxious to hear what’s coming next. Another reason to pause is during audience participation. If audience members respond to something a speaker has said, it breaks the connection when the speaker does not allow them time to have their moment. Here’s what a World Champion of Public Speaking has to say:

“As presenters are gaining confidence, they have a tendency to step on laughs. Meaning, as the audience starts laughing, because the presenter is nervous, he / she keeps talking. Because the speaker keeps talking, the laughs are suppressed, because the audience is eager to hear more. The power is truly in the pause.” – Darren LaCroix, Structuring Your Humor

To really ROCK your evaluation, you must:

Remember to give value
Organize it like a speech
Conclude with encouragement
Keep it real

Next time you evaluate a speaker, take a moment to consider: Did he use pauses effectively? Or did he step on laughs?

What about you? When you’re speaking do you allow your audience to participate in your speech? Do you give them a moment to respond or do you rush forward into your next point or story? Visit Darren’s website and see how his tips can help you make your next speech connect with your audience on an even deeper level. And, armed with that knowledge, your next speech will be even more powerful, plus you’ll give more value the next time you evaluate a speech.

Rock on,
Jean
2010 District 37 Evaluation Champion

Rock Your Evaluation! (Part 1)

Rock It!

When evaluating a speaker, look for what the speaker did well and what he can do to improve. Take a look at your Competent Communicator manual and you’ll find the skills you should look for. Remember how each speech had a different focal point, something you would focus on as you crafted and gave your speech? #5 focuses on Body Language; #6 focuses on Vocal Variety. Keep these in mind as you evaluate your speaker.

But what if you’re evaluating the best speaker in your Toastmasters club? You know, the one that never says an ‘um’ even in casual conversation. The one that gives presentations for a living. The one that, let’s be honest here, is a bit intimidating to evaluate. What then?

The key to giving a rockin’ evaluation is to evaluate the speaker as if you were an audience member. (Which you are)! Even if you’re a newer Toastmaster, you can give valuable feedback when you share what resonated with you or what the speaker could have done differently to make their speech more powerful.

According to 2007 World Champion of Public Speaking finalist, Bryant Pergerson, “Giving a great speech evaluation is one of the most important jobs in a Toastmasters meeting. As you learn to give more purposeful evaluations, your fellow club members will become more effective speakers and evaluators.” And, when they become better, they’ll evaluate you and you’ll become better. That’s what Toastmasters is all about.

To really ROCK your evaluation, you must:

Remember to give value
Organize it like a speech
Conclude with encouragement
Keep it real

Before you evaluate another speaker, take a moment to visit Bryant’s website and watch his video, “4 Secrets of Great Evaluations.”

Rock on,
Jean
2010 District 37 Evaluation Champion